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my mind asks... what the hell is wrong i don't know sometimes this happens sometimes the anxiety and the worry and the fear build growing bigger and bigger but there is no source no cause just the empty why is that why do i suffer so? ... i look to the beyond, but it does not reply my body asks... gods why can't i be like him like my hero like my alter ego like the me that isn't me instead look at me pathetic worthless a waste of a soul not worth the canvas not fair it's just not fair why can't i be the me i want to be? ... i look to the beyond, but it just makes me cry my souls asks... why why show me heaven why show me the ultimate prize my one my "the" my true special beautiful my soul mate why why show me something so beautiful so precious so full of fire and rage so unattainable i love her she loves me i think yet there are complications the idiot the selfish foolish idiot about to lose a true angel if he is not careful but still i yearn perhaps forever but why not now why? ... i look to the beyond, and i ask it why. the twenty-fifth letter is never a good question to ask. it maddens it taunts it teases it slowly takes me away from me chipping away chip chip chipping away until all that is left is the pain and the tears and the maddening torture of my mind slowly slipping away so far from my grasp. so aware am i yet so weak to do anything so powerless to stop the pain. the twenty-fifth letter is never a good question to ask. © Sir Lucien the Blue |